In a digital atmosphere where mental health struggles are romanticized, consider falling in love with self-improvement.
Mental health centered trends have taken social media and cinema by storm. Whether it’s watching “put a finger down, anxiety edition” on TikTok or an in-depth breakdown of the Joker’s mental health diagnoses, these topics frequent the internet to no end. Commonly, these trends romanticize the idea of mental illness, almost making an aesthetic out of it. This perception of mental health can create harmful perceptions of the conditions and further, push people to want a diagnosis. To an extent, education on such topics can be greatly beneficial to viewers, creating understanding for those with conditions. However, positive connotations with mental health conditions arise, romanticizing the struggles. BMC Psychiatry notes the depictions of depression and anxiety as “fashionable” online. Hues of black and white are used over depressing content, glorifying low self-esteem. The authors cited that depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, self-harm, and anorexia nervosa are frequently glorified and romanticized in the online sphere. These depictions frequently fail to show the challenges of mental health and instead frame symptoms as “quirky” traits to have. This can allow audiences to view mental illness as beautiful or even desirable, undermining its reality as a true struggle.
TheMeadowGlade, a personal blogger, comments on the fictional depiction of mental health issues, further sensationalizing mental illness in media. The author writes that depictions of characters with mental health struggles often have an underlying romantic spin on them. Occasionally, these storylines will twist narratives and show the character being cured from falling in love. Though a support system is important for those with mental health issues, falling in love cannot cure someone’s struggle with mental health. The idea that love is the medicine to mental illness creates an air of desire around such conditions, enticing audiences to identify with the tropes so they too can feel the salvation of love. I, instead, urge people to romanticize their own lives rather than searching for someone to help cure them.
Romanticizing daily life can minimize the moments you take for granted. “Appreciate what is right in front of us and live with intention, no matter how mundane our daily rituals might be,” writes Christina Caron. “It’s a reminder to look for moments of beauty and embrace minimalism.” In this article, Christina Caron further elaborates. She cites romanticizing life as a new way to explore mindfulness, be in the present moment, and practice gratitude. These practices can help find joy in daily life, without spending hundreds on Shein hauls and vacations. Each person can have a different interpretation of how they romanticize their life. Rather than following a workout routine, schedule or diet that works for one person, they are able to bend their life into a positive light. Romanticizing life has recently been seen in the trending topic “main character energy”. Imagine that your life is a movie, and each moment is a different scene. How do you want your movie to play out? This ties into the idea of crafting your own story, that your life is in your own hands.
Dr. Liz Davis gives advice in her article ‘Romanticize Your Life – A Therapist’s Story’. She notes that there are two ways to go through a day, scrambling out of bed, barely making it through the workday, and collapsing into bed just to do it all again tomorrow. Instead, she suggests living more intentionally, finding peace in the average moment. Enjoying the first sip of coffee in the morning, reframing morning grogginess as “early morning haze” to gently wake up from. Noticing the sensations of life and embracing them, enjoying each breath. On her path to romanticizing life, she notes her experience working from home. “I started with my environment. I created a ritual where I would turn on my favorite lamps in the living room, light a candle, tidy up any clutter, refresh my coffee and water bottle, and set my favorite cozy blanket across my lap.” She does not do anything particularly luxurious or expensive, she simply reframes her morning to appreciate what is around her. Instead of living on autopilot, embracing each moment can help improve mental wellbeing and content.
Online, we see people romanticizing consumerism and luxury, but we have all heard the classic trope that “money can’t buy you happiness.” If we reframe this and enjoy what is right in front of us we can love the small things we already have instead of yearning for more. “Romanticization reminds us of the beauty in life’s routines,” Micallef writes in ‘The New Spiritual Routine this Fall is Really Quite Romantic’. Make your study space 10% comfier with a blanket or candle, brew your favorite cup of tea, put extra intention into skincare! Make the most of each moment. Idealize the present moment and find the beauty of joy. I have been practicing this with cold weather, as this typically is a point of discomfort for me. When I’m walking across campus thinking about how cold and windy it is, focusing on the numbness of my hands and freezing face, all I can do is feel horrible. Now, I make an effort to shift those feelings into gratitude. I imagine how much I’ll miss Blacksburg one day, and how I would take back this miserable freezing moment to live through my early 20’s again. Am I any warmer? Absolutely not, however, I am less focused on the negativity around me and searching for what can make me feel a little bit happier.
It is frequently said that beauty can be found even in the most mundane of places. Focus on romanticizing the simple tasks of everyday life and create an atmosphere of content. One can fawn over weekends, going out, and the “self-care” hangover the next day. Or one could romanticize making morning coffee and planning out one’s day. Romanticizing situations that promote mental wellbeing over its deterioration leaves nowhere to go but up. BMC Psychiatry writes “don’t romanticize mental issues, romanticize working on yourself.”
“Life moves pretty fast, and if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
~ Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)